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'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

Bad gifts

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

Monday around 9PM.

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

At The Clown Bank.

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

What?! No way are we pushing for a green prom. Eco-club. Do we have to take the fun out of everything? People will totally embrace it if we frame it in the right way. Like? Saving energy by turning the lights down really low! Or using fewer chaperones. I can deal!

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."