Performance Review Humorist Pillows

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Modern Major General

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Schrodinger's Black Box

Drummer

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Elevator Music

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Rap-scallions

Berta screams out!

Double Saxophone

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

Nanki Poo

Magic Act

No Instruments Please

"Ding" "Dong"

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''