Performance Procrastinators T-Shirts

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Working from home to-do list.

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"This is a work station, Jackson!"