Performance Anxiety Analysts T-Shirts

"We couldn't find an introvert who was willing to take part."

Worry tank

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Tree growing

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"Remember that crazy optimistic forecast we had?!?"

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

The Job Interview

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

'The market was down today substantially on fears that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'