Performance Analyst T-Shirts

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

"Well your client feedback is very positive, 90% judged you excellent,5% exceptionally good and the remaining 5% want to have your children."

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

" ... and here's where you took vacation."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Just be yourself."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Light Bulb Moment

'They all want to play the star.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

The Life of Pi

Snowprov

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'