Percentage Enthusiast Pillows

'I plead 32% not guilty, 41% innocent, and 27% undecided.'

Packaging Russian Dolls

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Staff Yearbook

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Warning: Math Ahead!

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Perks

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

Reign Man

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

"I think he's been capitalised!"

And this is my dance of the third quarters profit ratio.

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'