Pep Talk Connoisseur T-Shirts

'My dieting pep talks to Mr. Whifley aren't working, Nurse -- Go in there and giggle at him.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Men gossiping

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Soccer coach of the year.

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Silly News.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

I'm giving them Henry V's speech before Agincourt...

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"Hold that afterthought!"

"I'll run through it again. Hit those keys."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

You guys aren't living up to your preseason hype!

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."