Pep Rally Gifts

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

Cheerleaders

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

'On the Internet we found weapons of mass intrusion.'

Hillary Clinton

"Ok, no more political arguments, you know I'm on the left."

"Say, isn't that Rudy Giuliani?"

New Windrush Statue deported to Rwanda.

Listen up, team! There will be no trash talk. No harassing the refs. No throwing elbows. Understand? Yes, coach! Ok, kids! Go play! Coach.

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

Hockey cheerleaders.

Holy Moses!

TRUMP

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'

Motivational backup speakers

Courage

A right of privacy party.

Occupy the Rose Parade

'If you carry a big enough stick you don't have to worry about treading softly.'

Latest in a long growing list of gaffes.

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'

'I told you not to let the children play with your Tony Blair effigy.'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

Coalition dummies.

'If re-elected, I promise to do everything in my power to avoid prison!'

'What's the point? Why are we here? Where are we going? 2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate?'

Hillary Clinton