Pension Collection Pillows

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Beanirrito"

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Some card-game puns

Bangers and Mash

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

Tequila Mockingbird

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

A Rifle Competition in the North

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.