Pension Collection T-Shirts

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

The Missing Sock Returns

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Beanirrito"

Bangers and Mash

Some card-game puns

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

Tequila Mockingbird

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

A Rifle Competition in the North

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

"You have ice water in your veins."

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.