Penny Stock Player Pillows

'Here at First Infidelity we've always been forward thinking investors. We've invested in penny stocks before they were penny stocks.'

Financial Terrorist Bernard Madoff.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Money down the drain.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'Give it to me straight, Doc - just how long-term should my long-term investments be?'

News. Volatile Stock Market. Lots of people have lost their shirts in the stock market. That's why they're feeling bare-ish!

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

"Geez. That's not a good sign."

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

I used the wrong investment group.

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

Low-Rent Stockholders

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

'Should I buy or sell?'

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'..Saddam Hussein's money stash could pay off the U.S. budget deficit.'

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

The Wall Street Journal Building.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

'Stocks rebounded from yesterday's losses on news that 'it aint over till it's over'.'

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'