Penny Slot Strategist T-Shirts

'Okay, so I lost $1,000 at the penny slots. It's not like I lost it at a $5 machine.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'I'm all in.'

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

Man with Sword in Penholder

'So this is how they're recovering from insolvency?'

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

Low-Rent Stockholders

'You had to go for a walk--now we've lost our table.'

A bet over spelling

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

Planning for retirement in a casino.

I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game

'Sir, would you please come with us?'

'We finally found a way to break the deadlock in our negotiations. I'll need a deck of cards and some poker chips.'

'I should have stuck to my hunch, to stay at home.'

"Between the price of a comic book and having to pay the bully down the street not to beat me up, my allowance is spent the same day I get it!"

"How many investment apps will this get me?"