Penitent Ponderer T-Shirts

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

Crowded Ice Fishing

Extreme Sisyphus

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

Lost and Profound.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

Jesus wept

Bumper Limos

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

'His version of sin is different from the press account.'

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

A confinement of convicts

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'