Penalty Dodger Pillows

'He escaped!'

"I never dreamed the substantial early withdrawal penalty was the fund itself."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

Hear me, Graduates!

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

Kicking The Habit

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'So, who's first?'

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'