Pedicure Perfectionist Gifts

Differing thoughts of male and female.

'Now, will you consider cutting your toenails?'

'Needs salt!'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Staycation Photos

The Manicure.

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'..and one for the pot.'

Sleeping on the Job

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

Social lens of the photojournalist

"Dad, you don't understand...I can't get my hair cut just anywhere! This is for school pictures! My hair needs to be perfect!"

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

My shampoo tones, colors, tints and conditions. Now if it would just make my hair presentable.'

'That will be $600, thank you...'

"Dang it, my eyes were closed - take another one!"

"Don't make me look fat!"

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

"Does this poison smell weird to you?"