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'Zebra Crossing'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Snowman in hospital bed with snow globe I.V.

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"Like most of your proposals Pinkley ...it ain't gonna fly!"

Closed. He was unable to complete the elevator repair today -- Further steps will need to be taken.

'I get a lot of job offers..'

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

Spiritualist Society Parking

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

Lawyer Xing

"Over here, doofus."

Rabbit spraying 'Hare Spray' on head.

"I'm Eggspecting."

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

"Offishial business, ma'am."

'Nice parking job, Rudy.'

"I have to twinkle"

'Now, that's funny! You were right! This traffic sign REALLY means 'One Way Road'!'

"Isn't this right out of Peter Mayle?"

Laughter at Zebra Crossing.

Jewdle

'It says here that the Governor's phone call was just three minutes too late. But hey, they've given you a posthumous pardon.'

'We're sending Barb's grandson a birthday card for his 11th. . . should we put eleven dollars in the card?'

Sidewalk Rage: Rudy's Response

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

''What's the point of big chompers, we swallow everything whole!"

"All I'm saying is the ark would have been a lot more fun if we had brought dates."

"There must be dogs in heaven. Haven't you heard of a St. Bernard?"

"I'm not sad, just a little melon collie."

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'