Pedantic Philosophers Pillows

"I hate to be that guy, but, technically, Frankenstein is the name of my creator, and I'm Frankenstein's monster."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Ten Commandments

"I cross the road to forget."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Is this who I am?"

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'