Peculiarity Gifts

John Jacob Jinglehymenoptera Schmitt

Shepherd and eurydice

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Big Bang Theory.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Outer Space Outsourcing

'They all want to play the star.'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'Hamlet'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."