Life's Quirks Appreciator Gifts

"Isn't it incredible that both of is, at this exact same moment are unemployed/"

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

How to injury yourself as an adult

'My 'harrumphs' are losing their volume.'

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Gardener and the Giant Snail

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

"Stop arguing - I'll walk myself."

"Are you binge watching again?"

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"Hope you've got on clean underwear."

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

Dr. Raymond Hoffler Proctologist

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

"Say, 'Tissue? I hardly know you,' but don't tell her you're a roll of toilet paper."

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'These shooting sticks are not very comfortable!'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

Woman gossiping on emergency phone

'He said I looked beautiful in the gown I was wearing...then he asked if he could borrow it!'

Cat and Mouse.

"I've never been able to convince a mustache to move in with my face."

"Well, He's not mainstream, But he's cute."

"And so now I'm supposed to be the faithful companion who goes for help?"

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

"He hated funerals. His last words were, ‘Wake me up when it's over.'"

'I'm your new daughter. Marcia and I have traded parents.'

General Dentistry.