Pecan Lover Gifts

'Luggage is free, but it now costs $50 for our complimentary bag of peanuts.'

Any time is cake o'clock

Where Indian ink came from.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Aromatherapy for Men

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"Someone has eaten our porridge, let's have pancakes."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"Habanero ..."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"No religious nuts!"

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'This feeling of passion I have for you ...'

Man proposes using strong flour as a ring.

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'You, you, you. It's always about you.'

'Okay! Okay! I'll talk! I'll talk! Please, just don't eat any more bacon!'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

'This is me at my most masculine.'

At Halloween a little kid leaves the house wearing his father's construction clothes, tool belt and hard hat. In the window is a pumpkin with a hard hat on.

"Nice ceiling. Is it stucco?"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.