Peace Symbol Ponderer Gifts

Masked man paints grenade to resemble eggs so that doves will act as bombers.

Crowded Ice Fishing

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Max Weber

Cow yin yang spots.

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

If this van's a rockin'...

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Caption Contest TK

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'