Payday Whisperer Gifts

'I'd like to pay you what you're worth, but I can't. There's a minimum wage law.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Rising Gas Prices

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

Ukraine War Clouds

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'Congratulations you have just made our one millionth request for a raise!'

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"I haven't been this pessimistic about investing since yesterday."

"I told you not to borrow so much pocket money..."

'What size would you like ma'am...e-mail, blog, or world wide web?'

'Your job is to make sure my glass is never half full.'

"I can't bear the way he dishes out the pay-packets"

"Do you think the UX is sufficiently unpleasant?"

'No, I really don't know how much I'm worth - but I'm sure my wife's divorce lawyer does.'

Global crisis.

'If I learn the value of a dollar, Dad, will it make me all grumpy like you?'

Two shoe shiners discussing finances

'Please sign the contract only if you're deeply convinced. I don't want to put pressure on you. Don't think of what I could tell your wife about you and your secretary.'

Friendly Personal Loans, 'No embarrassing questions.' - "Well, I don't consider these questions embarrassing."

'I can't repair the manual printing machine. The manual is illegible.'

"I thought it was time to clean my printer."