Pay Rise Dreamer T-Shirts

'There is no pay rise this year, but we've upgraded your job title instead.'

"It's the 'raise fairy.' Who will she touch with her want next?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Any chance of doubling my salary?'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

'You may have three mergers.'

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Edna, the company was serious when it said it planned on promoting from within.'

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

'Have you seen these figures?' - 'I refuse to answer, on the grounds it may effect my next pay rise.'

'No, we haven't made a decision on your promotion. We're still looking for a reason to deny it.'

'Ms. Booth, your portfolio is full of sound and fury signifying zero returns.'

"Where'd you get that?"

Car Dealer

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

"If the Obama Transition Team is interested they'll leave a message."

'I just want a little recognition, nothing much, maybe a Lifetime Achievement Award.'

'I hope you're not going to get into my bad books by asking me for a raise Digby.'

"You may already be a Nobel Prize winner!"

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

European funds.

"I'll flip you to see whose name is listed first if we should ever win a Nobel Prize."