Pay Gap Ponderer T-Shirts

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

Retirement Issues

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'