Pawsitively Pampering Experts T-Shirts

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Why Poodles Become Killers

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

Dogs can dream too.

Woman Curls Her Dog.

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The Clipping

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

Dog Jogger

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Happy 126th birthday, girl!"

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

'Now THAT'S a massage!'

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'