Pawrents Of The Year T-Shirts

"Martha, throw away the Pooper Scooper!"

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Dogs

"I miss the Augean stables."

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Animals are smarter than we think!

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"You're amazing!"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

Thank you Doctor

'That's right, my Master follows me on my walk with a plastic bag in his hand: I have no privacy anymore...'

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"He's a real dog person."

"They claim they're being used as pawns and are filing a lawsuit."

"I'm married with five children." "Sorry, we're looking for someone with sound judgement!"

'Fetch!...Sit!...Heel!...Paw!...They're not great conversationists, are they?'

'I'm making out my will...you want my fake diamond-studded collar?'

"I never thought that Rex from no. 81 wold get 'emasculated'..."

'Could I have the receipt, please? I like to keep them buried at the bottom of my purse.'

'But it's still early. Why don't you come on in, and we'll splinter a bone together?'