Patient Of The Year T-Shirts

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Bored?'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Stethoscope line.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"I've never felt better in my life."

"Are you going to move?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

Expect delays.

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

"Been waiting long?"

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'