Patient Of The Year T-Shirts

"I'm a little concerned about your cholesterol and, oh yeah, that's not good either."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Bored?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Stethoscope line.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

"Are you going to move?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"I've never felt better in my life."

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

Expect delays.

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

'I'll have to reschedule your appointment -- the doctor had an attack of squeamishness.'