Paw-some Matchmaker Prints

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"Aw, he's really attached to you."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"He's a real dog person."

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"You want to see me, Boss?"

Barking Today - 'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

'No problem...'

I'm interviewing for a new walker.

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"Do those shoes taste funny to you?"

Soulmates.

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

"We met online."

'How thoughtful - he even got the dog a present.'

'So you're a cat person...'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'Anyone for doubles?'

"My name is Prince, and I'm a barkaholic."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."