Paw-some Matchmaker T-Shirts

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"You want to see me, Boss?"

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'No problem...'

"He's a real dog person."

Barking Today - 'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"Do those shoes taste funny to you?"

Soulmates.

Collie F, 4 yrs old, well-trained, knows many tricks, wants to meet M, collie, afghan or greyhound. No mutts please.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"We met online."

'So you're a cat person...'

'Anyone for doubles?'

"My name is Prince, and I'm a barkaholic."

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."