Pattern Seekers Gifts

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

The Art Student.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I don't like your application."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Changing Room Decisions