Pattern Admirer Pillows

"You seem different."

King Madras

"C'mon - it's not like I'm argyle!"

"And as we say in the old country, Signora, 'incoronare il Re'."

A tessellation of running figures.

'How did you guess that I'm a married man?'

Valentine's day striped card from a husband who knows his wife is obsessed with stripes.

Artist Painting Modern Art.

Fashionable Spots.

"Who are you calling a big girl's blouse?"

"Chicken pox?"

Easter Egg

"Oh gosh, I've come over all queasy all of a sudden."

The Art Student.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Early Colour TV

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

Sometimes it's easy to see if a swamp creature is on vacation.

Snapshots in Time

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

Pea green

Making it look easy.

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

Quilt fanatic

Inventor of Morse Code

Where Scottish milk comes from.

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"