Patriotic Humor Lover Gifts

'Give you liberty or give you death? That's easy for you to say. You have nine lives.'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Monuments

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

Veterans Day US

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Comments. Complaints. Constitutional Amendments.

"So we have met before..."

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

"Six fact checkers spontaneously combusting in one election cycle? Yeah, I am starting to see a pattern, Higgins."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

"Let's give him a few minutes to grieve. His idea of taxing the air taxpayers breath was rejected."

"I don't think we can take 10,000 lakes as collateral."

'I believe in you, Jeffrey, and I believe in Al Gore.'

'I'm resigning -- so voters won't get the satisfaction of kicking me out of office!'