Patriotic Family Member Gifts

Flag.

Donald Trump

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

Licensed Therapist

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I didn't spark joy."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Little help?"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Military Medals

Very Difficult Conversations

Dancing Doctor

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

"You left your demons here last week."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Swinging

Babies vs. Dogs

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."