Patriotic Family Member Pillows

Flag.

Donald Trump

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

Licensed Therapist

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I didn't spark joy."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Dancing Doctor

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Cardiac Recovery.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Little help?"

Military Medals

Very Difficult Conversations

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

Babies vs. Dogs

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

Swinging

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

"You left your demons here last week."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Captain steering house through flood.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."