Patriot With A Twist T-Shirts

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Flag Gag

A bomb appears in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty.

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

Military Medals

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

UNFADED GLORY

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

Veterans Day '20

First day on beach: pale Englishman struts his stuff.

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

Television guests' essentials in November.

'Look...a fresh one!'

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

Unity is strength! Vote for local 62 today!

'We must protect my sovereignty.'

Statue of Liberty hugs Obama goodbye.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Barack Obama

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

America's New Dawn

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

"But first, our national anthem."

"And now for my fabulous 4th of July finale. . ."

The Eureka Stockade

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"I'm glad you got to meet some of my heroes, Katie..."

'It's a great country kid, anyone can grow up to be security to the president.'

Always Remember Their Sacrifice. . .

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

"Make America calm again"