Patient Queue Master T-Shirts

"Hunger and thirst were bad. . . some people around me collapsed. . . and by the time I got home the kids were grown up and my wife had long since remarried. . . well, Ed. . . that was one hell of a long cash desk queue!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

The First Commuters

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Thanks TSA

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

'You'll have to excuse her - being on hold with Disneyland Paris has sent her goofy...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"You took your time!"

"I told you we had to leave earlier."

'Next time?'

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"I identify with shorter lines."

'I like being last in line. That way, I'm the last fool to part with his money.'

"At the tone, the time will be LATER THAN YOU THINK."

'I can't believe everybody isn't camping out to get in first.'

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'. . ."

I've had four espresso shots and a red bull. Look out post office, here comes Sadie! Post office? You're fueling up so you have the strength to endure the long lines? Ha. I'm creating the lines. I get to the counter with a stack of complicated questions, then watch the people behind me go nuts with frustration! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!! One of the best maniacal laughs in the business.

"This is NHS direct.You are in a queue,approximate waiting time is 4 hours."

Airport Wait