Patient Player Pillows

"Are you going to move?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

'Bored?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

A feast in a hospital bed.

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Fashion Victim.'

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

Expect delays.

"At the moment I'm afraid we have learning difficulties..."

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Chess players covered in cobwebs