Patient Parental Figure Gifts

'We have to be patient with him. He's on the Daddy-track.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'Bored?'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

Spilled Milk

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

'You gotta help me, doctor! I took a deep breath to get some fresh air and inhaled my Blackberry!'

"Are you going to move?"

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

A feast in a hospital bed.

"You're at a teaching hospital. Hence, all the tests."

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'No kid, I don't remember your mother! Christ, I've impregnated DOZENS of test-tubes!'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

Burt's love of garlic was making him most unpopular with the other patients.

"Don't make me come over there."

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

'Fashion Victim.'

"Fill out the form and have a seat in the waaait... waaait... waiting room."

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."