Parental Figure Gifts

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Child-proof safe.

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"I'd love to go but it's my weekend to have the kids."

No, dear, not in that one, either – there are no toys hidden in any of them.

Spilled Milk

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Just be yourself."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

Grace For Flies

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'