Parental Figure Gifts

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Child-proof safe.

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"I'd love to go but it's my weekend to have the kids."

Spilled Milk

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Just be yourself."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

Grace For Flies

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'