Patience Coaches Gifts

They put me on hold.

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'Are you done yet?'

Fishing.

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'I just couldn't wait until eight!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Women

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

Snail crossing

Road work next 15 years.

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

A knowledge of where the fish are likely to be located can save hours of frustration.

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'I like to spend my train journeys reading fiction.' (He looks at Rail Timetable. Sign says 'Delays expected'.)

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'