Paternity Tester T-Shirts

'I demand a DNA test.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'I'll take him.'

"Your meal sounded nice."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Avocado Timeline

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

Big Burgers.

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

The interminable!

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"