Relationship Tester T-Shirts

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"This will be hilarious!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

Awkward First Dates

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'