Patent Pro Pillows

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"I need an appointment."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

Around here it got a little tricky...

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Intellectual Property

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'