Patchwork Fan T-Shirts

The King's New Robes.

I quilt therefore I am

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Marcel Marceau's parrot

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Joseph and his coat

About the potter.

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'What do you mean; 'I should burn less fuel to save the environment'? I only discovered fire this morning.'

'This guy is really good!'

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

'It's all hand made.'

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

"I told you she'd had some work done."

"I don't tell you how to gather."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Top Hat

'I've invented food, and I've invented shelter -- two out of three isn't so bad!'

Make do and mend

'... But, I don't want to see the potential. I want to see the dream house you promised me.'

Steel fabricator

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

Gustav Klimt

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'