Pasture Philosopher Pillows

"I've never trusted cows."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

I don't know what my beef is today...

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

"Yes, gossip is prevalent. You have to remember that a dairy herd is more like a group of co-workers than a family..."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

'What can I say? I'm a grass magnet!'

Down On the Farm

Shepherd

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

Even cows get the blahs....

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

"Your grass looks great."

Green Pieces Four Leaf Clover

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

I lactate, therefore I am.

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh, and on that farm he had a mirror...