Pastry Thief Detective Pillows

I need a sample of your DNA. Bug off, greed ball. Someone stole a pastry. I have a right to police my own cafe. Oh, fine. Here's some DNA. Splat! Nice aim. This does not happen on CSI!!

"Where do we put Desserts?"

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Pie Filling Reader

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Missing Easter Egg

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

Style

'You can stop looking guys, i found it ! The PROOF is in the pudding!' A detective finds a photo, proof of a murder in a bowl of pudding.

How to mince a pie 1. Get hold of a pie 2. Mince that pie 3. Serve to your guests

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

"If ye must know, I became this way after me mutinous crew marooned me for seven years on a dessert aisle."

'It's nothing serious. Just a little powdered sugar.'

'You ate the styrofoam and left the meringue.'

'Either currents have wings or there's a fly in this bun!'

'What kinda dessert will I miss out on if I don't eat this stuff'

"My vegan desserts are all-natural, although I often suspect that they're artificially savored."

This department will not countenance the back stab.

"It's '60 Minutes.' Did you order a mushroom pizza in July, 1992, and never pick it up?"`

"That does it! I'm going on a diet! Baldo, hide these pastries where I can't find them."

"Man, I just HATE these police grillings!"

"Don't pretend that you've not eaten the cake, Gerald! I can see it in your coelenteron!"

"No, you're not here about a promotion. You're here because of the brownies you brought to the potluck."

"Your keys are in your purse? I think it will be quicker to call a locksmith!"

"Who could have imagined that such a wonderful recipe for brownies would be hidden away in the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

Bakery Hold Up.

What, sir, are you doing with that microphone? Fitting you with a surveillance device. Someone stole a scone. I've got to monitor everyone in the cafe to prevent future attacks. I'm sure you won't mind – unless you're a filthy pastry-thieving anti-capitalist criminal. I don't know … Speak into the mike, American-hater.