Pastoral T-Shirts

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

"Staff support"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Ghostwriting the Bible

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Fishing with God

Early Piety

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

TSA Noah

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

A surprise in heaven

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'