Past Lives T-Shirts

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."

"And you'll be a man my son!"

"You spoil those pterodactyls!"

Parson and abandoned husband

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'How's that, Umpire?'

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

Generation Ex.

Revenge Graffiti.

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."