Passionate Party Hosts Gifts

'That was our first ashtray... we both quite and now we use it as a candy dish.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Wine Lady

Join me in a Martini?

Party time.

Aprons

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Barbecue

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Mini Bar

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"Let it breathe for an hour, to bring out the best home-truths."

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

"I'm hanging tough, guys, but have I mentioned how much I resent you for always making me hold the table?"

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'He's been shot!'

'But the invitation says 'come as you are'.'

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'