Passion For Comedy Gifts

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Walking Services

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"